English – Page 2 – paige.trutna

Hotel Rwanda Reaction

I thought that Hotel Rwanda was a very good choice of movie to watch to learn about disposability. There were many people who were disposed of or thrown away in this movie, whether they were Tutsis, Hutus, or even foreign helpers. By the society of Rwanda and the society of the rest of the world, both of these cultures were thrown away. They were seen as useless, or at least only useful when they had completed their job, and weren’t needed anymore. After this, they were killed or injured because they couldn’t be used and manuipulated by other people anymore.

I also thought that this movie was very eye opening. I won’t say I was completely unaware of bad things going on in the world, but I also won’t say I was aware of things like this happening, and people (even Americans) not helping. The fact that things like this go on and we can do something about it, but don’t, worries me. I think that if people can help other people survive, they should. This movie was also eye opening for me in seeing how violent people can be towards others who are different. They are not afraid to hurt people who they don’t agree with.

We’ve also had other conversations in class which I think are important to acknowledge. The main thing we talked about is other groups of people who were seen as disposable by society. Pope Francis listed off a few groups, including the sick, disabled, poor, young, and even something like the internet. I agreed with the majority of them, but the internet is something I saw as very non-disposable. We value the internet more than we value other people in our lives sometimes, at least that’s how I see it. The articles we’ve read, things we’ve talked about, and movies we’ve watched have really helped understand the concept of disposability.

Semester Reflection

Throughout this semester, I think I’ve grown a lot as a student in the areas of reading, writing, speaking, and thinking. There were many units that helped me grow in these areas, some of the main ones being our informative speeches and choice reading and writing.

When we did informative speeches, I chose the topic of photography, mostly because I wanted to learn more about it myself. When doing this speech, I was taught how to successfully talk in front of people and get them to listen to me. I think that the information I derived from this speech is going to help me in years to come. Some of the main things I learned: don’t talk too fast, connect your speech to the visual aid, show more emotion, make sure to be loud, and gesture along with your words.

The choice reading and writing unit really helped me with my reading and writing (obviously), but also with my thinking skills. When I read The Sun is Also a Star, I learned how to read a book and understand what was going on so that I could relate to the characters and the plot, and I also learned how to think like the characters and even to think in ways I had never thought possible before. When I read this book, my reading and thinking skills went up a level purely because of the writing style and what I had to do to stay involved with the book.

During the choice reading and writing unit, I also learned many things about writing. One of the main things is not to rush the ending, even if your story does end up being a little longer than what you expected. If you want the story to end up like you were imagining, you have to take the time to develop the plot and the characters how they should be developed. You also can’t rush the ending. The end is one of the most important parts of the story, as it is when everything is resolved (most of the time). You could write an amazing story, but if the ending isn’t good, all that could go down the drain, so you can’t rush the ending. Just like you have to take time to develop the characters and plot, you have to take time to develop the ending and make it the way you want.

Video Media Essay

Paige Trutna
Interpersonal Communications
September 25, 2017

Video Media
How does video media influence adolescent/teen development?

One of the main ways that video media influences teens is the way it might make them want to change something about themselves or their lifestyle. This can be good or bad, depending on the teen.
When we did the TV programming discussion in class, one of the most surprising things I took away was that most teens, at least here at Lincoln Lutheran, wanted shows that had more positive themes and messages. They said that they liked when shows had a lesson in them, like Full House, or even Disney Channel shows. I guess I was always under the assumption that most teens liked shows that were violent and had some sex. When I heard this point, I was really glad, because just like the teen representatives in our discussion, I like shows that have a positive message, even if they are a little bit cheesy. Additionally, shows with positive themes could affect teens in a good way. If they see something happy or something they can learn from on TV or any sort of video media, they may want to copy it, and it could inspire them to be a better person.
While TV can influence teens in a positive way, I think that it can influence them in a negative way as well. Take 13 Reasons Why, for example. This is one of the most popular shows on Netflix, and it depicts suicide in a gory way, just for entertainment. Even if you don’t think that the show will influence you in a bad way, “our recommendation would be to have your child forego watching this series” (Why We Don’t Think Teens Should Watch 13 Reasons Why). I personally would take this advice. I myself didn’t watch the show because I didn’t think I could handle it.
While a lot of people say this show bad, some people think that it is important for teens to watch the show, because it gives them a better grasp of suicide and what it really is. “I respect anyone’s choice to not watch the show, however, I found it to be an important series to view” (13 Reasons Why You Should Watch 13 Reasons Why). While I can see that it is important to be exposed to suicide and its effects, I don’t think this show did it in an appropriate way. There are many ways to learn about the world’s problems, none of them in this gruesome of a way. Also, if teens watch this show, they could be majorly influenced, and in a bad way. The thought of suicide will always be in the back of their mind, maybe not as something to do, but just as something that they saw as entertainment. They will never really stop watching the series. This could potentially make them have more negative thoughts about life, and their outlook will never truly be the same.
Not only can fictional TV shows like 13 Reasons Why influence teens, but reality TV shows can too. This can be positive or negative, depending on the show. On the negative side, shows like Dance Moms and even Survivor can come to mind. Tom Green, a writer for the Huffington Post and a ex-reality TV star, says that “the easiest way to win the competition for eyeballs in the digital age is to broadcast bad behavior. People like watching train wrecks.” In addition, he argues that reality TV is affecting our society, and making us think that bad behavior is rewarded with a reality show. If teens see bad things depicted on these shows, they will want to copy them, especially if the bad behavior doesn’t have consequences.
On the flip side, some people, like James Poniewozik, think that reality TV is great quality TV for families. He thinks that “reality TV has also become the new version, and maybe the last bastion, of primetime family viewing.” He argues that even though reality TV can be violent and sexy, some shows (like The Voice, MasterChef, Chopped, and the Amazing Race) are very family oriented and can be good viewing for families, especially with kids. Furthermore, reality TV is prime entertainment for families and even though it can be bad, Poniewozik says that he watches reality TV all the time with his kids, and believes that it can be good.
Whether reality TV is good or bad, it can influence teens. It can make them more competitive or make them feel like if they behave badly, they will have more people to relate to. But it can also make them more confident in themselves. If they see things being depicted on TV that are bad, and they know that they don’t do those things, their self confidence could be boosted majorly.
Another thing that could influence teens in video media is ads. We watched a few car commercials and looked through magazines to find what lifestyles ads were promoting. Some were promoting the “rugged warrior” lifestyle, some the “family fun” lifestyle, some the “health freak” lifestyle, and many more. If teens see these ads and like the product they are portraying, they may want to change something about their lifestyle in order to fit in with the stereotype of the product in the ad.
Like I said, teens can be influenced by video media, but it depends on the teen. I’ve watched some shows on Netflix that could’ve influenced my outlook majorly, but I don’t think they have. My personality and interests have changed a little bit because I watched these shows, but I think that’s inevitable. TV shows that I’ve watched haven’t influenced the person I am at my core. On the other end of the spectrum, I know people who have watched shows (like 13 Reasons Why) and have been influenced. Their outlook on life will never truly be the same, and that’s because they’ve seen TV shows, videos, movies, or even advertisements that have made them want to change something about their life.
In conclusion, I think that teens can be influenced by video media. It can make them want to change something about themselves. However, this depends on the show and the teen. Some teens can be influenced in a good or bad way, and some can simply just watch TV without it having an effect on them.

Choice Reading Final Reaction

For my choice reading in English, I finished The Sun is Also a Star and am close to halfway through Clockwork Angel. In this reaction, I’m going to mostly be talking about The Sun is Also a Star, because I finished that one.

This book is one of my favorite books that I’ve read in a while. It was a really cute story that wasn’t cliche, like you’d maybe expect from a YA Contemporary Romance novel, but it was different and new. The characters were very diverse, which I feel like is important in the world today. Represented in this book was a Korean-American boy and a Jamaican-American girl.

When I picked up this book, I knew it was a romance, but I didn’t expect it to be so well put-together. Before reading The Sun is Also a Star, I had read another book by Nicola Yoon, which was also very good, but I liked this one better. The writing style was amazing, and the romance in this book was well-written, not cheesy, but also very enjoyable.

Along with the well-written romance, there were other aspects that allowed me to enjoy the book. We got to see the characters trouble with their families. Daniel didn’t get along with his brother at all, and we saw that come into the plot line with the romance when Charlie (his brother) made fun of Natasha and was being very racist. We also saw Natasha blaming her dad for what they had become and the fact that they were close to being deported.

I would recommend this book to anyone who likes to read. A forewarning: it has some language, but if you can ignore that, then the book is great. If you like romance or just a good read, this book is for you.

Choice Writing Final Draft

Dear Reader,

Throughout this writing process, I’ve done a lot of work in and out of class to make this story the best it possibly can be. I’ve done a lot of revising and adding scenes to try and make my writing better. I hope you enjoy this story.

Opposites
~ Hazel ~
I listen as the steady beeping of the monitor fades away, and the world goes black. I don’t know how long I’ve been out of it, but according to my superiors, it’s been at least a couple days. When I finally come to, I can’t remember anything from the surgery. Scanning the room, I’m looking for any sign of where I might be, and I see silver walls with monitors around me. I’m alive, so I think the surgery went well. Suddenly, I feel a piercing ringing in my head. I cover my ears and yell, but it does nothing.
“Hello Hazel,” I hear a deep voice interject from the door, and the ringing stops suddenly. Everything comes back to me- I’d volunteered for this surgery. I had willingly gotten a chip implanted into my brain so that the organization could keep watch on my every move during my missions. Because of this surgery, they can now see what I am seeing, and they can make me see messages from them, saying what to do and what not to do.
The man at the door has gray hair, a lanky build, and green eyes that seem to pry into my thoughts.
“Hazel Winwood. Thank you for volunteering. How do you feel?” is the first message I see appear in my line of vision.
“I feel fine. The only thing that’s happened is some ringing in my ears,” I say. That’s probably an understatement. When the ringing happened, I felt like someone had somehow inserted a sound of 120 decibels into my brain.
“Oh, the ringing? Yes, that was me. Just making sure you were reacting normally to stimuli.” He checked off a box on his clipboard.
“So just the ringing?” he inquires.
“Yes.”
“Nausea?”
“Not yet.”
“Vomiting?”
“Nope.”
“Headaches?”
“Haven’t felt anything yet.”
“Good. It’s looking like you’re going to be one of our best subjects yet,” he assures, still checking off boxes. He exits the room, leaving me alone.
~ Chase ~
I see another dreaded sign for the school dance. Every single year, from when I was 11 until now, I’ve dreaded dances- and I’m 16. You’d think that I’d be able to man up and ask someone, but I’ve gotten rejected so many times, it’s just not worth it anymore. Instead of continuing to worsen my mood, I head off to Physics. I try to immerse myself in the science, like I can most of the time, but this stupid dance can’t seem to leave my head. I look around the room at the girls in my class. I see someone with black hair and green eyes. She’s pretty, right? Answer: Yes, Chase, she is very pretty. And way too out of your league. It’s a week before the dance, so she probably already has a date. It’s like the devil and the angel on my shoulder, but one of them is trying to get me to talk to a girl for once in my life, and the other is trying to talk sense into me. My sensible side wins that fight.
“Chase? Chase,” my teacher demands. Everyone is staring at me, and I realize that I’ve been involved in my thoughts for the first ten minutes of the class. I mentally scold myself. This is why I can’t get a girl to talk to me. I’ve been this way ever since I was a kid: alone, isolated, rejected. I’m a part of something, a part of something that doesn’t allow for much free time or control over my own decisions. I’m a part of this organization, and I have been for years. It’s the only thing I’ve ever belonged to.
~ Hazel ~
I’ve been left sitting alone in the room for two and a half hours when gray-haired man comes in again.
“Agent Winwood. We have a mission for you.”
“Finally,” I think to myself. Out loud, I say “Ok.”
“We need you to infiltrate the other side.”
I feel my heart beat faster than ever, and my pulse starts racing. Infiltrating the other side is one of the most honored, yet dangerous, missions anyone can be assigned. Most of the time, they give assignments like this to adults. Me? I’m barely 16.
~ Chase ~
Physics was my last class of the day, and I’ve never been more relieved to be in my room. I collapse on my bed, and stare up at my blank ceiling. Why am I like this? I’m sure there’s plenty of girls at my school without a date. I can just ask one of them, right? No. All of them would say no, and I’m not about to experience that again. I’d much rather be here, with my comics book and tech projects. My room is pretty much my lab. I’ve built computers, made inventions. I never have homework, so I have to occupy my time somehow, right? I’d prefer to do something other than thinking about my girl problems, so I choose to do this. My dad is an inventor, too. He told me that even when I was little, I liked to go into the garage and to work with him so I could see him build things, so I guess this has been a passion of mine for a while.
I’m working on my minuscule Iron Man suit prototype when I hear a knock come from the door.
“Come in,” I yell, without looking away from the project.
“Hey, Chase,” I hear my dad interrupt. “Whatcha building now?”
“Just another prototype. What’s up?”
“Well, your mom and I have some news for you.”
“What?” I ask nervously.
“Well, it won’t really effect you if you don’t want it to.”
“Ok…what’s going on?”
“We have some new neighbors moving in. They’re buying the house next door. Man and a woman, with a daughter about your age.”
I look down at the floor. I know that both my parents see this as an opportunity for me. They want me to get more “social” and to talk to people other than them, but they don’t understand that I’m better off on my own. There’s a lot of pressure on me to do well in school, and in…other things.
“Chase, come on. You know what I’m going to say. It would be a good thing for you to at least meet her and become friends.”
“Dad, I know.”
“Just try, ok?”
“Sure,” I say, but that’s only because he looks disappointed. I only plan on seeing her once. I’ll go outside, look at her, then nothing will have ever happened. I’ll retreat back into my own little world.
~ Hazel ~
“Me? Are you serious?” I ask gray-hair man.
“Yes, Hazel. You’ve proven yourself very well.”
“Ok. How am I going to infiltrate the other side?”
“Well, we did some research on agents of the other side, and we found one you could get in contact with. He lives near here too, and we purchased a house next door to him. He’s your age. We set you up with a fake family to make it look like you’re just moving in.”
“What’s his name?”
“Chase Brooks.”
~ Chase ~
I’m in the middle of watching my favorite show when I hear a moving van driving across our street. Is this the new family who’s daughter I’m supposed to socialize with? I quietly walk away from my bed and look out the window. I have to strain my neck in order to see anyone, but when I do, I see the girl. She has a flannel shirt on with jeans and converse. She has light brown hair, green eyes, and freckles. I want to get a closer look, so I run downstairs to look out the living room window. The girl is looking around at our neighborhood, when she sees me looking through the window. I want to leave right away, but I’m frozen in my tracks.
Instead of giving me a judging look, she smiles at me, and instead of smiling back, I keep staring. I probably look like an idiot.
~ Hazel ~
What a way to be welcomed into the neighborhood. I see a boy looking out the window of his house. I think he’s watching me move in. It dawns on me that this must be Chase, so I have to somehow get him to be my friend. I smile at him, but he doesn’t smile back. He just keeps staring. He looks like an idiot.
~ Chase ~
That was the most I’ve interacted with a girl in years. I have no idea what to do when one makes eye contact with me, let alone smiles at me. I decide that I don’t need to know, because I am fine on my own, despite what my parents may think. I’m halfway up the stairs when I hear the doorbell ring. My mom walks up to the door and answers it, like a good neighbor. I run as fast as I can up to my room. I don’t want to do this.
I can hear conversations downstairs that go something like this-
My mom- “Oh hi! You must be the new neighbors!”
The girl’s mom- “Yes! We’re very excited to be here.”
My mom- “And who is this?”
The girl’s mom- “This is Hazel. She’s 16.”
Hazel- “Hello.”
My mom- “I have a son that’s 16! Would you like to meet him?”
Hazel- “Sure.”
My mom- “CHASE!”
Ok, Chase. This is it. You’re going to go talk to a girl. She’s pretty, and you’re going to talk to her. Just say hi, and it’ll all be fine.
I parade down the stairs, and I see Hazel and her mom standing at the door. I try to smile at them. She smiles back at me, and I clearly see that she’s had more experience with this.
“Hi, I’m Hazel. What’s your name?”
“Um…I’m Chase. Chase Brooks.”
~ Hazel ~
So this is Chase. I’m not sure how he’s an agent for the other side, because he’s probably the most awkward person I’ve met in my life. He’s got tousled brown hair and brown eyes. He’s wearing jeans, high tops, and an old t-shirt. His hands are in his pockets, and I can feel his nervousness.
“What school do you go to?” I prompt, trying to start a conversation.
“Oh…um, I go to Wright. What about you?”
“Uh…homeschooled,” I say, trying to be as nonchalant about my true identity as possible.
“Cool.”
“Yeah.”
“Yep.”
“So, what do you like to do?”
“I like comic books and science.”
“That’s pretty cool. I like superheroes. Can you show me some of your comics?”
“Yeah, sure. I’m actually working on an Iron Man suit prototype right now!”
“That’s awesome!”
“It would be better if I hadn’t failed at making like a zillion before this one,” he replies with a smile. This one is more genuine. He seems to open up to other people better when he can be himself.
Another message shows up in my vision. “Good, Agent Winwood. Keep getting him to open up. Get him to like you.”
For a couple minutes, I forgot that the other side was making me talk to Chase. I remembered what I was here for, and followed Chase up to his room, my real mission now in the front of my mind.
~ Chase ~
“So, this is my room. Yeah, not much to see, I know. The Iron Man prototype is over there on my desk,” I say and gesture over to the lab.
She walks over to my desk and looks at the prototype. Before I can tell her not to touch anything, she grazes her finger over Iron Man’s helmet.
“Ow!” she yells, and jumps away from my desk.
“Yeah, sorry, that’s my bad. I forgot to tell you that it’s still probably dangerous to touch,” I chuckle.
“I had no idea,” she says sarcastically.
“So, why’d you decide to move to the neighborhood where literally nothing ever happens?”
“I don’t know, just looking for a change, I guess.”
“Cool. Well, I hope you like it here.”
“I like what I’ve seen so far.”
PANIC! This is what I was afraid of. Was that comment directed at me? Does she want to be friends? More than friends? We barely know each other. It’s not that I wouldn’t like being friends with her, it’s just…why would someone like her want to be friends with me?
Instead of voicing all my doubts out loud, I look down at the ground and grin.
~ Hazel ~
“Good, Winwood. I think that’s enough for today. I can see you’ve gained his trust. Tomorrow, we continue. For now, I need to speak to you alone,” is the new message I see appear across my line of vision.
“Oh gosh, sorry Chase. I totally forgot that I have to go home and unpack. It was really good to meet you. Maybe we can talk again tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I’d like that. See you later, Hazel.”
I smile at him, and this time he smiles back. I walk out of his room, down the stairs, and out the door. As soon as I’m out of eyeshot, I sprint down the street and towards my house. I go up to my room, and I wait patiently for another message.
“You clearly have some experience with this.”
I grab a piece of paper and write “Not really. He’s just easy to manipulate.”
“Obviously. You must get him to trust you enough so that you can go looking around in his house for proof that he’s part of the other side. As soon as you do that, we can infiltrate his house and arrest him.”
“He actually doesn’t seem that threatening. Do you really think he’s on the other side?”
“Yes. Are you questioning our research, Agent Winwood?”
“No, of course not. I’ll get right to it.”
“Good.”
~ Chase ~
I haven’t been able to stop smiling the whole day. I just talked…to a girl! More importantly, I talked to a girl and it wasn’t the most awkward thing that’s ever happened to me. I sit on my bed, but I feel a lump underneath me. It is none other than Hazel’s jacket.
“Yes! An excuse to go talk to her again!” I think. Whoa, Chase. Don’t get ahead of yourself. You just met her.
I yell up at my mom and tell her that I’m going over to Hazel’s house to return her jacket. I don’t get a response, but I assume that my parents are fine with it, especially considering that I’m talking to someone.
I try to coolly stroll over to her house, but I can’t be cool. It’s just not in my DNA. I walk up to the porch and ring the doorbell. While I’m waiting, I’m trying to get into a position where it looks like I’m comfortable. I land on just standing there with her jacket. Her mom answers the door. “Hi! Chase, was it?” she says.
“Um, yeah. Chase.”
“What’s up?”
“Oh, well, Hazel left her jacket at my house. Is she here?”
“Yeah, she’s in the basement.”
“Ok, thanks, Mrs…”
“Winwood.”
I saunter down the stairs into her basement and lean against the wall. She doesn’t hear me come down, she’s so immersed in her movie. And what other movie but Star Wars?
“Man, I love Star Wars!” I interject.
“Oh my gosh, Chase! I didn’t hear you come down.”
“Hey. You left your jacket at my house.”
“Oh, whoops! My fault.”
“Which episode is this?”
“Empire Strikes Back.”
“That’s my favorite!”
“No way, me too!” she responds enthusiastically. “Wanna watch with me?”
“Oh yeah, sure. But what about supper?”
“We can just order a pizza or something.”
“Sure! I don’t think my parents will mind.”
“Alrighty, let’s do this,” she commands.
Maybe it won’t be so bad to have a friend next door.
~ Hazel ~
“Good. You’ve gotten him in your house. Now keep reeling him in. Soon, we’ll have him right where we want him.”
I realize that even though this is my mission, I don’t want Chase to get hurt. He’s too nice, too innocent, to ever hurt anyone else. I look at him on the couch. He’s shoving popcorn in his mouth as fast as he can. How can anyone want to hurt him? I certainly don’t.
~ Chase~

~ Hazel ~
“So who’s your favorite character?” he asks, mouth full of popcorn.
“Vader. How about you?”
“No wayyyyy! You like the villain?! I’m sorry, I can’t condone that.” He throws a piece of popcorn my way and it hits me in the shoulder.
“Oh, don’t think you can get away with that, Rebel Scum,” I retaliate. I toss popcorn back at him.
“Rebel Scum?! We. Destroyed. Your. Death Star!” he says, playfully punctuating every word with a popcorn throw. I throw my arms up, pretending like I’ve had enough, and grab a pillow. I smack him in the side of the face, and he graciously falls to the side, onto the couch. His previously messy hair is even messier now. He snatches up the other pillow and hits me with it, but I don’t fall. We go into an all out pillow/popcorn fight for 15 minutes, until Chase realizes we skipped the iconic “I am your father” scene.
“Noooooo! Please go back, Hazel,” he begs.
“Only if you say Vader is better than Luke!”
“Fine,” he concedes, and murmurs it under his breath.
“Thank you,” I say, rewinding. We settle back on the couch, closer than we were before. Once we get to the scene, he grabs my arm, and we both quote along with it. I look at him, and a nerdy smile has taken over his face. I can feel one on my face, too. I look at him and grin, and he looks at me and grins back. His face is red because of the fight we just had.
“You want to know something, Hazel?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“You’re the first person in years that would ever hang out with me when they didn’t have to. Since I was 10, I’ve been isolated from humanity, and when I first saw you, I didn’t think I was going to have anything to do with you.”
“When I first saw you, I thought you were the weirdest person ever.”
“And now? Well, now you’re my best friend.”
“I think you might be becoming my best friend too.”
~ Chase ~
I think I have a best friend. WHOA. This has never happened to me. No one’s ever liked me enough to be my partner for a project, let alone my best friend. I have way too many issues for someone to want to be my friend. She doesn’t know who I am, what I’ve done, and I feel bad for not telling her. I’m part of something that she can’t be a part of, or she’ll get hurt.
Despite all of this, Hazel is the best possible friend I could ask for. She’s nice, smart, funny, and we have a lot of things in common. Despite all the things that should be keeping us apart, I think she was meant to move in next to me. It’s like she has a purpose for being here. I know that sounds stupid, but I think it’s true.

~ Hazel ~
Chase Brooks. This is the same boy that I’m supposed to corrupt and get for the organization. They would kill me if they knew this, but I really really don’t think that Chase has anything to do with the other side. Maybe there’s another Chase Brooks. It’s just so hard for me to ever imagine Chase hurting someone. He’s too nice, too innocent.
“Chase?”
“Hazel?”
“Wanna watch Return of the Jedi?” My concerned look melts into a smile, and so does his.
“You know it,” he says with his nerdy smile.
I walk over to the DVD section of the basement and grab out 2 movies.
“Now,” I say. “Bonus features edition or normal edition?”
We look at each other for a few seconds. “Bonus features,” we say in unison.
I laugh, then I put away the normal DVD and insert Return of the Jedi into our Blu-Ray player. When it starts playing, I jam out to the theme song, and he joins me on the other part. After it’s done, we both laugh, and get ready for the opening scene with R2D2 and C3PO.
Things I learn about Chase while watching this movie:
He has almost every line in this movie memorized.
I thought I was a fan of these movies.
He is an even bigger fan.
His favorite character is, in fact, Luke Skywalker.
I never knew I could bond this much with someone I was supposed to hurt.
~ Chase ~
Return of the Jedi is over, and it’s almost midnight. I know that I have to go home now, but I don’t want to. I want to find out what other movies we like and I want to marathon them with her.
“That was the most fun I’ve had in years,” I admit. “We should do it again sometime.”
“Lets do it. How about Back to the Future?”
“This right here: this is why we’re friends.”
“Ok, Chase,” she laughs. I realize I’ve been staring at her for longer than I should. It’s like the day at the window, except she can stand me now. And that’s why I have to tell her. I have to tell her what I’m a part of, all the baggage that comes with me.
“Hazel! Wait…before you go…”
“Yeah?”
“You, uh, you…forgot your jacket again,” I sigh.
“Oh, gosh, sorry! I’ll see you later, Chase.”
“See you later, Hazel.”
~ Hazel ~
As I walk upstairs after cleaning the basement, I think about Chase. Is he really an agent for the other side? Is this nice, nerdy kid just a cover up? I don’t know what to think anymore, because what I’ve been loyal to for 10 years of my life is all falling apart because of a boy. But he’s not just any boy: he’s smart, nice, funny, kind, genuine, and a million other words that I can’t think of.
I am starting to truly believe that he is not a part of the other side, which means that if I help my organization, he will get hurt for no good reason. I can’t ever let that happen.
~ Chase ~
Why is it so hard for me to tell her? It should be easy to talk to her, about anything really. Even though this should be the most simple thing I’ve ever done, it’s the most difficult. This part of me, no one knows about it: literally no one. Even if I am a part of some organization, I’m still me. In fact, I’m me because of what I do. My secret has taught me to stay strong through all the rejection, all the pain.
As I’m sitting at my desk working in the lab, I pull out my organization files from my drawer. I see my name and my picture shown on the cover. I looked really bad in that picture. My hair was messy, and I was smiling like a serial killer, but that’s not the point. Inside the files were all my mission reports, failures, successes, and all my information. I close them, and look at my reflection on the front cover, and I have to ask myself if that’s really me anymore. Is it who I want to be? Can I find my true self with my missions, or can I find my true self with my projects, and with Hazel? Am I really going to give up what I’ve been a part of for 5 years, just to be a part of something that could end in two minutes?
~ Hazel ~
I can’t do this to him. He’s innocent, and hurting him would make me a monster. I have to tell him. I run over to his house.
“Hi Hazel! Are you here for Chase?” his mom asks.
“Yeah, I am, Mrs. Brooks.”
“Awesome! He’s up in his room.”
I walk up the stairs to Chase’s room and knock on the door. I hear the rustling of papers, then he opens it.
“Hey,” I say softly. He looks at me, confused, and I look back at him. I have to just do this, or both of us are going to get hurt.
“Hey, Hazel.”
“Chase, look. I’m so sorry, but this can’t happen. If we become any closer, bad things are going to happen to you, and I don’t want that. I can’t hurt you.”
“Hazel, what? Why would bad things happen to me?” I see all hope and happiness leave his face, and it feels like someone has reached into my chest and pulled out my heart.
“I…they just would. I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you why. My hands are tied. You wouldn’t understand.”
“All I understand is that I can’t live without my best friend.”
“Chase, I have to go. I’m sorry.”
“Hazel, no. You can’t just leave like this.”
“Chase, just trust me.” I can feel his disappointment radiating, but someday he’ll thank me for this. I walk out of his house for the last time.
Right as the slam of the door ends, I can feel the tears leaking. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve only known him for a couple days, but it feels like we’ve been best friends for our whole lives. I know I need to forget him, but I just can’t.
~ Chase ~
I don’t know why this hurts so much. I’ve gone 6 years with people rejecting me, ditching me. So why does this feel any different? It shouldn’t, after all. I slowly open the door to my house, and parade up to my room. I know that I should probably be crying now, but I’m not. I think this is because I’m still in shock. Hazel didn’t just ditch me with no explanation, and I’m going to see her again tomorrow. I guess I’m still in denial. Anyway, she just did what I couldn’t. I’m a part of an organization, a secret organization. If she got involved in that, she would get hurt.
“Chase, Hazel’s mom just brought this for you!” my mom calls from downstairs.
I walk down the stairs, and I see an envelope with my name on the counter. I grab it, and retreat back to my room.
Chase,
This is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write, or do, for that matter. But I have to, for both of us. I can’t have either of us getting more attached to something that can’t happen. If you’re wondering why I made you leave or what this is about, let’s just say that everything in the world is keeping us apart. I’m me, and you’re you. Unless something major happens, we’re never going to see each other again. I’ve gone back to where I belong. Please don’t come after me, or it won’t end well. In any other situation, we would most likely still be watching a movie. But in this situation, if we would’ve stayed friends, you would’ve gotten hurt, and I could never bear to see that. I really hope you understand, and that you forget about me, even though I’ll never forget about you.
Love,
Hazel
Ok, now I might be crying.
~ Hazel ~
I’m sitting at home, making sure that the thing I did was right, when I see cars lighting up outside of my window. What I thought was horrifying at first- they’re at Chase’s house. What I realize is horrifying now- they have my organization’s name on the side. I rush outside, and the gray-haired man steps out of one of the cars. I feel confused and humiliated. This is what I was trying to prevent, so how’d they get here?
“Good work, Agent Winwood.” He shakes my hand, and to my horror, I see Chase looking back at us. There is a look of hurt, betrayal, and understanding on his face. His eyes tell a different story. He is scared for his life, as he should be. He continues looking at me, all but begging for help, as they pin his arms behind his back and push him into the leading car.
“Wait! How did you get here?” I ask.
“We know the address, Hazel. After all, we did choose where you would be based. We figured it was time enough to take matters into our own hands.”
I step into the van with the gray-haired man, and we follow Chase’s car back to the organization. The question I am asking myself: do I help Chase and risk my life or do I pretend I don’t care about him?
~ Chase ~
How did I get here? I didn’t do anything, but somehow, I’m siting in the corner of a car, going somewhere I don’t know, with my hands pinned behind my back and my dignity gone. And Hazel set it all up. I should’ve known, I should’ve taken a hint. Hazel’s goal all along was to get me into this situation, and she did that my earning my trust. How did I not see this coming? No one’s actually talked to me in 6 years, and Hazel’s too good to be my friend.
And then it hits me. Hazel is a part of the organization that’s fighting mine. This is why she had to leave and why she thought I would get hurt. All of her “kindness” had led up to this moment.
I’m immersed in my thoughts when I feel the car stop. They clamber out of the van, and pull me along with them. I’ve been taken to a remote facility, and I have no idea what’s going to happen to me. The facility just looks sketchy, with its silver walls, endless cords, and corpse-ish smell. I have no idea where this is, where I am in town, and I don’t care. All I care about is how I’m going to get out, and if Hazel even cares about me at all. I’m scared, and I’m not afraid to admit it. We walk in the doors, and they shove me into a room that’s pitch black. In other words, I can’t see anything. At least, I can’t see anything until the door opens an hour later, and who is standing there but Hazel Winwood?
“Chase, I’m so so sorry. I made you leave all because I was afraid something like this would happen,” she says quickly. I can see tears starting to form in her eyes.
“Hazel, normally I’d say it’s fine, but this is anything but fine. I am in who knows what, who knows where, and I don’t know what’s about to happen to me.”
“Yes, and like I said, I’m so so sorry.”
“You really didn’t want this to happen?”
“No, Chase, I tried everything to prevent this from happening. I know you’re not a member of the other side.”
“That’s the thing, Hazel: I am a member of the other side.”
“What? You really are?”
“Yes, but you’re still my best friend.”
“Chase, this can’t happen if we’re supposed to be enemies.”
“Yes, yes it can. We can ignore everything. You and I don’t have to listen to our organizations.”
“Chase. Listen to me. We will see each other again, but we have to leave each other if we want to survive. I’m sorry. I can get you out of here, but that’s it.” I can see that she’s trying to stay strong, but she doesn’t want to stay.
“Ok,” I agree.
She holds her hand out to me, and I take it. Maybe I wanted to hold hands with her, but not in this situation. We run to the exit of the facility, surprisingly easy. Hazel’s so smooth with her organization, I don’t know how I didn’t see it earlier. Now that I know what she really is, I can see the vibe she gives off, but I know that when she was with me, it wasn’t all fake, which is why I can’t give up on her, which is why I won’t stop until she’s safe.
“Ok, lets get out of here,” I say.
“Chase, I can’t come with you. I told you that.”
“Hazel, come on. You’ll be safe with me.”
“No I won’t. I’ll be safe here, at least for a while. This isn’t goodbye forever. We will see each other again, I’ll make sure of it.”
“Hazel…”
“Chase, no. You have to leave before it’s too late,” I say stubbornly.
“Fine. I’ll see you later, Hazel Winwood.”
“See you later, Chase Brooks.”
I begin to run, but then I turn around. “Oh, and Hazel?” I say. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she responds with tears welling up.
“No, really, thank you,” I say, my voice starting to break. “For everything.”

Choice Reading Reaction: Clockwork Angel

After I finished The Sun is Also a Star, I decided to read Clockwork Angel. This book is about Tessa Gray, a girl who finds out that she has powers, and it follows her journey as she meets Will Herondale and James Carstairs. She must decide between saving her brother and saving the world, and she also must decide between Jem (James) and Will.

This book is very different from the last book I read. While The Sun is Also a Star was very lighthearted and “cutesy”, Clockwork Angel is more fantasy-like. I’m not very far into it, only about 110 pages, but I really am enjoying it so far. The author of this book is also a lot different and she has a different style. For instance, the last book I read was all in first person and had many different points of view, while this book is all in third person.

So far, I also really like the plot and the characters. The plot is interesting to follow along with, and the characters are very relatable (even if they do have powers). Even from the start of the book, there was a very clear plot line that was going to be established and developed throughout the book.

The conflict that I have seen so far is one of my favorite parts of the book. As of now, a lot of the conflict is Man vs. Self. Tessa, the main character, has a lot of self conflict because she is deciding if she wants to be a Shadowhunter or if she wants to go off on her own. We also see her deciding between her brother and the world and deciding between Jem and Will.

Choice Writing Rough Draft

I came up with the idea for this story when we were brainstorming in class. I think that if I develop it right then it could be a really good story. I wanted to create a piece of writing that was entertaining and that I could express myself through.

~ Hazel ~
I listen as the steady beeping of the monitor fades away, and the world goes black. I don’t know how long I’ve been out of it, but according to my superiors, it’s been at least a couple days. When I finally come to, I can’t remember anything from the surgery. I scan the room, looking for any sign of where I might be, and I see silver walls with monitors around me. I’m alive, so I think the surgery went well. Suddenly, I feel a piercing ringing in my head. I cover my ears and yell, but it does nothing.
“Hello Hazel,” I hear a deep voice interject from the door, and the ringing stops suddenly. Everything comes back to me- I’d volunteered for this surgery. I had willingly gotten a chip implanted into my brain so that the organization could keep watch on my every move during my missions. Because of this surgery, they can now see what I am seeing, and they can make me see messages from them, saying what to do and what not to do.
The man at the door has gray hair, a lanky build, and green eyes that seem to pry into my thoughts.
“Hazel Winwood. Thank you for volunteering. How do you feel?” is the first message I see appear in my line of vision.
“I feel fine. The only thing that’s happened is some ringing in my ears,” I say. That’s probably an understatement. When the ringing happened, I felt like someone had somehow inserted a sound of 120 decibels into my brain.
“Oh, the ringing? Yes, that was me. Just making sure you were reacting normally to stimuli.” He checked off a box on his clipboard.
“So just the ringing?” he inquires.
“Yes.”
“Nausea?”
“Not yet.”
“Vomiting?”
“Nope.”
“Headaches?”
“Haven’t felt anything yet.”
“Good. It’s looking like you’re going to be one of our best subjects yet,” he assures, still checking off boxes. He exits the room, leaving me alone.

~ Chase ~
I see another dreaded sign for the school dance. Every single year, from from when I was 11 until now, I’ve dreaded dances- and I’m 16. You’d think that I’d be able to man up and ask someone, but I’ve gotten rejected so many times, it’s just not worth it anymore. Instead of continuing to worsen my mood, I head off to Physics. I try to immerse myself in the science, like I can most of the time, but this stupid dance can’t seem to leave my head. I look around the room at the girls in my class. I see someone with black hair and green eyes. She’s pretty, right? Answer: Yes, Chase, she is very pretty. And way too out of your league. It’s a week before the dance, so she probably already has a date. It’s like the devil and the angel on my shoulder, but one of them is trying to get me to talk to a girl for once in my life, and the other is trying to talk sense into me. My sensible side wins that fight.
“Chase? Chase,” my teacher demands. Everyone is staring at me, and I realize that I’ve been involved in my thoughts for the first ten minutes of the class. I mentally scold myself. This is why I can’t get a girl to talk to me.

~ Hazel ~
I’ve been left sitting alone in the room for two and a half hours when gray-haired man comes in again.
“Agent Winwood. We have a mission for you.”
“Finally,” I think to myself. Out loud, I say “Ok.”
“We need you to infiltrate the other side.”
I feel my heart beat faster than ever, and my pulse starts racing. Infiltrating the other side is one of the most honored, yet dangerous, missions anyone can be assigned. Most of the time, they give assignments like this to adults. Me? I’m barely 16.

~ Chase ~
Physics was my last class of the day, and I’ve never been more relieved to be in my room. I collapse on my bed, and stare up at my blank ceiling. Why am I like this? I’m sure there’s plenty of girls at my school without a date. I can just ask one of them, right? No. All of them would say no, and I’m not about to experience that again. I’d much rather be here, with my comics book and tech projects. My room is pretty much my lab. I’ve built computers, made inventions. I never have homework, so I have to occupy my time somehow, right? I’d prefer to do something other than thinking about my girl problems, so I choose to do this. My dad is an inventor, too. He told me that even when I was little, I liked to go into the garage and to work with him so I could see him build things, so I guess this has been a passion of mine for a while.
I’m working on my minuscule Iron Man suit prototype when I hear a knock come from the door.
“Come in,” I yell, without looking away from the project.
“Hey, Chase,” I hear my dad interrupt. “Whatcha building now?”
“Just another prototype. What’s up?”
“Well, your mom and I have some news for you.”
“What?” I ask nervously.
“Well, it won’t really effect you if you don’t want it to.”
“Ok…what’s going on?”
“We have some new neighbors moving in. They’re buying the house next door. Man and a woman, with a daughter about your age.”
I look down at the floor. I know that both my parents see this as an opportunity for me. They want me to get more “social” and to talk to people other than them, but they don’t understand that I’m better off on my own. There’s a lot of pressure on me to do well in school, and in…other things.
“Chase, come on. You know what I’m going to say. It would be a good thing for you to at least meet her and become friends.”
“Dad, I know.”
“Just try, ok?”
“Sure,” I say, but that’s only because he looks disappointed. I only plan on seeing her once. I’ll go outside, look at her, then nothing will have ever happened. I’ll retreat back into my own little world.

~ Hazel ~
“Me? Are you serious?” I ask gray-hair man.
“Yes, Hazel. You’ve proven yourself very well.”
“Ok. How am I going to infiltrate the other side?”
“Well, we did some research on agents of the other side, and we found one you could get in contact with. He lives near here too, and we purchased a house next door to him. He’s your age. We set you up with a fake family to make it look like you’re just moving in.”
“What’s his name?”
“Chase Brooks.”

~ Chase ~
I’m in the middle of watching my favorite show when I hear a moving van driving across our street. Is this the new family who’s daughter I’m supposed to socialize with? I quietly walk away from my bed and look out the window. I have to strain my neck in order to see anyone, but when I do, I see the girl. She has a flannel shirt on with jeans and converse. She has light brown hair, green eyes, and freckles. I want to get a closer look, so I run downstairs to look out the living room window. The girl is looking around at our neighborhood, when she sees me looking through the window. I want to leave right away, but I’m frozen in my tracks.
Instead of giving me a judging look, she smiles at me, and instead of smiling back, I keep staring. I probably look like an idiot.

~ Hazel ~
What a way to be welcomed into the neighborhood. I see a boy looking out the window of his house. I think he’s watching me move in. It dawns on me that this must be Chase, so I have to somehow get him to be my friend. I smile at him, but he doesn’t smile back. He just keeps staring. He looks like an idiot.

~ Chase ~
That was the most I’ve interacted with a girl in years. I have no idea what to do when one makes eye contact with me, let alone smiles at me. I decide that I don’t need to know, because I am fine on my own, despite what my parents may think. I’m halfway up the stairs when I hear the doorbell ring. My mom walks up to the door and answers it, like a good neighbor. I run as fast as I can up to my room. I don’t want to do this.
I can hear conversations downstairs that go something like this-
My mom- “Oh hi! You must be the new neighbors!”
The girl’s mom- “Yes! We’re very excited to be here.”
My mom- “And who is this?”
The girl’s mom- “This is Hazel. She’s 16.”
Hazel- “Hello.”
My mom- “I have a son that’s 16! Would you like to meet him?”
Hazel- “Sure.”
My mom- “CHASE!”
Ok, Chase. This is it. You’re going to go talk to a girl. She’s pretty, and you’re going to talk to her. Just say hi, and it’ll all be fine.
I parade down the stairs, and I see Hazel and her mom standing at the door. I try to smile at them. She smiles back at me, and I clearly see that she’s had more experience with this.
“Hi, I’m Hazel. What’s your name?”
“Um…I’m Chase. Chase Brooks.”

~ Hazel ~
So this is Chase. I’m not sure how he’s an agent for the other side, because he’s probably the most awkward person I’ve met in my life. He’s got tousled brown hair and brown eyes. He’s wearing jeans, high tops, and an old tshirt. His hands are in his pockets, and I can feel his nervousness.
“What school do you go to?” I prompt, trying to start a conversation.
“Oh…um, I go to Wright. What about you?”
“Uh…homeschooled,” I say, trying to be as nonchalant about my true identity as possible.
“Cool.”
“Yeah.”
“Yep.”
“So, what do you like to do?”
“I like comic books and science.”
“That’s pretty cool. I like superheroes. Can you show me some of your comics?”
“Yeah, sure. I’m actually working on an Iron Man suit prototype right now!”
“That’s awesome!”
“It would be better if I hadn’t failed at making like a zillion before this one,” he replies with a smile. This one is more genuine. He seems to open up to other people better when he can be himself.
Another message shows up in my vision. “Good, Agent Winwood. Keep getting him to open up. Get him to like you.”
For a couple minutes, I forgot that the other side was making me talk to Chase. I remembered what I was here for, and followed Chase up to his room, my real mission now in the front of my mind.

~ Chase ~
“So, this is my room. Yeah, not much to see, I know. The Iron Man prototype is over there on my desk,” I say and gesture over to the lab.
She walks over to my desk and looks at the prototype. Before I can tell her not to touch anything, she grazes her finger over Iron Man’s helmet.
“Ow!” she yells, and jumps away from my desk.
“Yeah, sorry, that’s my bad. I forgot to tell you that it’s still probably dangerous to touch,” I chuckle.
“I had no idea,” she says sarcastically.
“So, why’d you decide to move to the neighborhood where literally nothing ever happens?”
“I don’t know, just looking for a change, I guess.”
“Cool. Well, I hope you like it here.”
“I like what I’ve seen so far.”
PANIC! This is what I was afraid of. Was that comment directed at me? Does she want to be friends? More than friends? We barely know each other. It’s not that I wouldn’t like being friends with her, it’s just…why would someone like her want to be friends with me?
Instead of voicing all my doubts out loud, I look down at the ground and grin.

~ Hazel ~
“Good, Winwood. I think that’s enough for today. I can see you’ve gained his trust. Tomorrow, we continue. For now, I need to speak to you alone,” is the new message I see appear across my line of vision.
“Oh gosh, sorry Chase. I totally forgot that I have to go home and unpack. It was really good to meet you. Maybe we can talk again tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I’d like that. See you later, Hazel.”
I smile at him, and this time he smiles back. I walk out of his room, down the stairs, and out the door. As soon as I’m out of eyeshot, I sprint down the street and towards my house. I go up to my room, and I wait patiently for another message.
“You clearly have some experience with this.”
I grab a piece of paper and write “Not really. He’s just easy to manipulate.”
“Obviously. You must get him to trust you enough so that you can go looking around in his house for proof that he’s part of the other side. As soon as you do that, we can infiltrate his house and arrest him.”
“He actually doesn’t seem that threatening. Do you really think he’s on the other side?”
“Yes. Are you questioning our research, Agent Winwood?”
“No, of course not. I’ll get right to it.”
“Good.”

~ Chase ~
I haven’t been able to stop smiling the whole day. I just talked…to a girl! More importantly, I talked to a girl and it wasn’t the most awkward thing that’s ever happened to me. I sit on my bed, but I feel a lump underneath me. It is none other than Hazel’s jacket.
“Yes! An excuse to go talk to her again!” I think. Whoa, Chase. Don’t get ahead of yourself. You just met her.
I yell up at my mom and tell her that I’m going over to Hazel’s house to return her jacket. I don’t get a response, but I assume that my parents are fine with it, especially considering that I’m talking to someone.
I try to coolly stroll over to her house, but I can’t be cool. It’s just not in my DNA. I walk up to the porch and ring the doorbell. While I’m waiting, I’m trying to get into a position where it looks like I’m comfortable. I land on just standing there with her jacket. Her mom answers the door. “Hi! Chase, was it?” she says.
“Um, yeah. Chase.”
“What’s up?”
“Oh, well, Hazel left her jacket at my house. Is she here?”
“Yeah, she’s in the basement.”
“Ok, thanks, Mrs…”
“Winwood.”
I saunter down the stairs into her basement and lean against the wall. She doesn’t hear me come down, she’s so immersed in her movie. And what other movie but Star Wars?
“Man, I love Star Wars!” I interject.
“Oh my gosh, Chase! I didn’t hear you come down.”
“Hey. You left your jacket at my house.”
“Oh, whoops! My fault.”
“Which episode is this?”
“Empire Strikes Back.”
“That’s my favorite!”
“No way, me too!” she responds enthusiastically. “Wanna watch with me?”
“Oh yeah, sure. But what about supper?”
“We can just order a pizza or something.”
“Sure! I don’t think my parents will mind.”
“Alrighty, let’s do this,” she commands.
Maybe it won’t be so bad to have a friend next door.

~ Hazel ~
“Good. You’ve gotten him in your house. Now keep reeling him in. Soon, we’ll have him right where we want him.”
I realize that even though this is my mission, I don’t want Chase to get hurt. He’s too nice, too innocent, to ever hurt anyone else. I look at him on the couch. He’s shoving popcorn in his mouth as fast as he can. How can anyone want to hurt him? I certainly don’t.
“So who’s your favorite character?” he asks, mouth full of popcorn.
“Vader. How about you?”
“No wayyyyy! You like the villain?! I’m sorry, I can’t condone that.” He throws a piece of popcorn my way and it hits me in the shoulder.
“Oh, don’t think you can get away with that, Rebel Scum,” I retaliate. I toss popcorn back at him.
“Rebel Scum?! We. Destroyed. Your. Death Star!” he says, playfully punctuating every word with a popcorn throw. I throw my arms up, pretending like I’ve had enough, and grab a pillow. I smack him in the side of the face, and he graciously falls to the side, onto the couch. His previously messy hair is even messier now. He snatches up the other pillow and hits me with it, but I don’t fall. We go into an all out pillow/popcorn fight for 15 minutes, until Chase realizes we skipped the iconic “I am your father” scene.
“Noooooo! Please go back, Hazel,” he begs.
“Only if you say Vader is better than Luke!”
“Fine,” he concedes, and murmurs it under his breath.
“Thank you,” I say, rewinding. We settle back on the couch, closer than we were before. Once we get to the scene, he grabs my arm, and we both quote along with it. I look at him, and a nerdy smile has taken over his face. I can feel one on my face, too. I look at him and grin, and he looks at me and grins back. His face is red because of the fight we just had.
“You want to know something, Hazel?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“You’re the first person in years that would ever hang out with me when they didn’t have to. Since I was 10, I’ve been isolated from humanity, and when I first saw you, I didn’t think I was going to have anything to do with you.”
“When I first saw you, I thought you were the weirdest person ever.”
“And now? Well, now you’re my best friend.”
I can’t do this to him. He might be a part of the other side, but that doesn’t matter to me. I can’t betray him.
“Chase, look. I’m so sorry, but this can’t happen. If we become any closer, bad things are going to happen to you, and I don’t want that. I can’t hurt you.”
“Hazel, what? Why would bad things happen to me?” I see all hope and happiness leave his face, and it feels like someone has reached into my chest and pulled out my heart.
“I…they just would. I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you why. My hands are tied. You wouldn’t understand.”
“All I understand is that I can’t live without my best friend.”
“You need to go now. I’m sorry.”
“Hazel, no. I can’t just leave like this.”
“Chase, just get out!” I can feel his disappointment radiating, but someday he’ll thank me for this. He storms up the stairs and I can hear the door shut from the basement.
Right as the slam of the door ends, I can feel the tears leaking. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ve only known him for a couple days, but it feels like we’ve been best friends for our whole lives. I know I need to forget him, but I just can’t.

~ Chase ~
I don’t know why this hurts so much. I’ve gone 6 years with people rejecting me, ditching me. So why does this feel any different? It shouldn’t, after all. I slowly open the door to my house, and parade up to my room. I know that I should probably be crying now, but I’m not. I think this is because I’m still in shock. Hazel didn’t just ditch me with no explanation, and I’m going to see her again tomorrow. I guess I’m still in denial.
“Chase, Hazel’s mom just brought this for you!” my mom calls from downstairs.
I walk down the stairs, and I see an envelope with my name on the counter. I grab it, and retreat back to my room.
Chase,
This is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write, or do, for that matter. But I have to, for both of us. I can’t have either of us getting more attached to something that can’t happen. If you’re wondering why I made you leave or what this is about, let’s just say that everything in the world is keeping us apart. I’m me, and you’re you. Unless something major happens, we’re never going to see each other again. I’ve gone back to where I belong. Please don’t come after me, or it won’t end well. In any other situation, we would most likely still be watching a movie. But in this situation, if we would’ve stayed friends, you would’ve gotten hurt, and I could never bear to see that. I really hope you understand, and that you forget about me, even though I’ll never forget about you.
Love,
Hazel
Ok, now I might be crying.

~ Hazel ~
I’m sitting at home, making sure that the thing I did was right, when I see cars lighting up outside of my window. What I thought was horrifying at first- they’re at Chase’s house. What I realize is horrifying now- they have my organization’s name on the side. I rush outside, and the gray-haired man steps out of one of the cars.
“Good work, Agent Winwood.” He shakes my hand, and to my horror, I see Chase looking back at us. There is a look of hurt, betrayal, and understanding in his eyes. He continues looking at me, all but begging for help, as they pin his arms behind his back and push him into the leading car.
I step into the van with the gray-haired man, and we follow Chase’s car back to the organization. The question I am asking myself: do I help Chase and risk my life or do I pretend I don’t care about him?

~ Chase ~
How did I get here? I didn’t do anything, but somehow, I’m siting in the corner of a car, going somewhere I don’t know, with my hands pinned behind my back and my dignity gone. And Hazel set it all up. I should’ve known, I should’ve taken a hint. Hazel’s goal all along was to get me into this situation, and she did that my earning my trust. How did I not see this coming? No one’s actually talked to me in 6 years, and Hazel’s too good to be my friend.
I’m immersed in my thoughts when I feel the car stop. They clamber out of the van, and pull me along with them. I’ve been taken to a remote facility, and I have no idea what’s going to happen to me. We walk in the doors, and they shove me into a room that’s pitch black. In other words, I can’t see anything. At least, I can’t see anything until the door opens an hour later, and who is standing there but Hazel Winwood?
“Chase, I’m so so sorry. I made you leave all because I was afraid something like this would happen,” she says quickly. I can see tears starting to form in her eyes.
“Hazel, normally I’d say it’s fine, but this is anything but fine. I am in who knows what, who knows where, and I don’t know what’s about to happen to me.”
“Yes, and like I said, I’m so so sorry.”
“You really didn’t want this to happen?”
“No, Chase, I tried everything to prevent this from happening.”
“Ok,” I agree. “But you being sorry isn’t going to affect anything.”
“Yes it is, because we’re getting out of here.”
She holds her hand out to me, and I take it. Maybe I wanted to hold hands with her, but not in this situation. We run to the exit of the facility, surprisingly easy.
“Ok, lets get out of here,” I say.
“Chase, I can’t come with you.”
“What? Hazel, come on. You’ll be safe with me.”
“No I won’t. I’ll be safe here, at least for a while. This isn’t goodbye forever. We will see each other again, I’ll make sure of it.”
“Hazel…”
“Chase, no. You have to leave before it’s too late,” I say stubbornly.
“Fine. I’ll see you later, Hazel Winwood.”
“See you later, Chase Brooks.”
I begin to run, but then I turn around. “Oh, and Hazel?” I say. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” she responds with tears welling up.
“No, really, thank you,” I say, my voice starting to break. “For everything.”

Choice Book Reading Reaction

For my choice reading, I read The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon. I had heard many good things about this book, and finally decided to pick it up. It follows the characters of Daniel and Natasha as they go on their adventures, cross paths, and fall in love. We get to see scenes from the point of view of both characters, along with some excerpts and insights that tell us a little bit more about what is going on in the book.

I absolutely loved this book. This was the fastest I’ve read a book since I picked up the first Harry Potter book in 7th grade. Originally, I was kind of on the fence about the writing style, with multiple points of view and excerpts that weren’t really a part of the story, but I loved it. Seeing different points of view really helped me to understand both sides of the story, which just added more to my reading experience.

The mood created in The Sun is Also a Star also adds to the enjoyment of the book. Because we see the book from different perspectives, we get different moods throughout the chapters. When we see the events from Natasha’s point of view, we get a more “sciencey” point of view, as illustrated when she says “I don’t like temporary, nonprovable things, and romantic love is both temporary and nonprovable” (pg. 75). On the flip side, when we see the events from Daniel’s point of view, we get to see how he is hopelessly falling in love with Natasha. We frequently witness this, because he is always talking about her.

I think that this book also has undertones that aren’t romance that would make for a good story themselves. We see diversity in the characters, as Natasha is African American and Daniel is Korean-American. The characters both have struggles with their families, which creates a subplot that you want to keep reading.

There are so many lessons that can be learned from this book. You can learn about family, friends, and love from two very different outlooks.

The Reality of the American Dream

Throughout college and high school, many people have a specific idea of what they want to do in their life. This idea may turn into reality, or it may not. There are many factors that play into this idea of the American Dream. The American Dream is based off of many aspects, some of the most prominent being acceptance, worth, usefulness and freedom. These are illustrated by many texts like Of Mice and Men, Death of A Salesman, and various other poems. The characters in these texts represent these different aspects of the American Dream in their own different ways.

One of the main elements that is represented in the texts about the American Dream is the idea of acceptance and belonging with others. One of the characters that represents this the best is Willy in Of Mice and Men. Willy is talking about how much he loves his wife, then he has another mood swing, saying “I get so lonely…” (Miller 25), which shows just how lonely people can seem when striving for success. Sometimes, when trying to achieve the American Dream, someone can be so caught up in goals and what they have to get done in a certain amount of time. This can cause them to lose focus on what’s important. This can result in not being able to spend time with loved ones, and one may completely cut out time for them to relax. Death of a Salesman also represents this well. Willy is reflecting back on his life and says “Charley, you’re the only friend I got” (Miller 76). This shows the harsh reality of the American Dream sometimes. One can seem so caught up in work and what they have to do that they may lose all their friends. When that happens, a person may suddenly want to be accepted again and belong with a group of people. One has to focus on balancing life between loved ones and work.

In addition to the idea of acceptance being illustrated in Death of a Salesman, it is also illustrated in Of Mice and Men through the character of Crooks, who is not accepted into the bunkhouse society. Because of his skin color, he is isolated from the rest of the group. Everyone in the bunkhouse is white, except for him, so he is not accepted into this society and feels abused and isolated by the other men. Even though this may seem cruel for them to do this to him, he does the same thing. It is said that “he kept his distance and demanded that other people keep theirs” (Steinbeck 67). While someone may feel bad for him, they have to keep in mind that he rested the same burden on other people. All he wanted to do was to belong to a group of people, but he didn’t make it easy for himself.

Just like some people aren’t accepted into the American Dream, others are seen as useless or worthless to share in the American Dream because of a mental or physical defect. One character that is a relevant example of this is Candy from Of Mice and Men. He lost his hand in an accident, which makes him useless in terms of the American Dream. He can no longer work or be of physical use to anyone. Because of this, all hope he had of achieving the American Dream was gone. This is why the dream of George and Lennie was so appealing to him. It allowed him to still have hope and potentially to still be useful in terms of society.

Just like Candy, the boy in Robert Frost’s poem lost a hand and was useless in society’s opinion. Towards the end of the poem, he was going to the hospital to get his hand amputated and he was begging them not to amputate it and take his life. He was crying and was scared, “But the hand was gone already” (Frost 27). Just like Candy, all hope of the American Dream for him was gone, so it is not only that he literally died, but he figuratively died as well. When he died, most people “since they\were not the one dead, turned to their affairs” (Frost 33-34).

While Candy and the boy in the poem had a physical defect, Lennie from Of Mice and Men had a mental defect, so to speak. He wasn’t the smartest, but he was physically useful, which allowed him to kind of participate in the American Dream. Lennie and George made the perfect package because George was scrawny but smart and Lennie was dumb but strong. He couldn’t speak well, but “he can do anything you tell him” (Steinbeck 22). His usefulness lied in his physicality, not his mentality.

If, like George, one was useful and could be a part of the American Dream, then freedom was one of the prime motivations for completing and achieving the American Dream. One character that was a great representation of the need for freedom was George from Of Mice and Men. Freedom seemed to always be on his mind and seemed to always be his focus when thinking about his dream. He wanted his own land “an’ it’s [his], a’n [he] c’n go to it” (Steinbeck 79). The whole concept of being able to do what they want when they want is appealing to them.

There are also many characters from Death of a Salesman that represent this well. Some of these characters are Willy, his wife, and Happy. Willy wants freedom from his income and the stress from having to earn money. He wants to be free of the problems that arise from trying to pay off insurance and his house. He also wants to die the death of a salesman. He wants to be remembered as an amazing person, and he wants to travel the world, and just, well, be free. Happy’s main ambition is also freedom. He wants to come out as the #1 man, and he wants to just have a bunch of girls and money so he can do whatever he wants without having to have permission from anybody. Willy’s wife also wants to be free, kind of from the same thing as Willy. She wants to be able to pay off the insurance so the Loman family didn’t have to stress out anymore.

In order to have freedom in the American Dream, one also has to have worth. One has to be valued by other people in order to achieve their goals and make their dreams reality. For Willy from Death of a Salesman, his worth was found in business. To his standards, he didn’t succeed at this, so he ended up being “worth more dead than alive” (Miller 76). He also finds his worth in acceptance, which he didn’t think he had throughout most of the book, which could be why he ended up committing suicide.

After considering this, one needs to notice there are many elements that fit into the American Dream. Some of these are acceptance, belonging with a group of people, freedom, being able to do what someone wants when they want, worth, and usefulness. All of these elements can be represented in many different ways with characters from various books and poems. Some people achieve the American Dream and some people may not, but it is something everyone strives for in their lifetime.

Works Cited
Frost, Robert. “Poetry: The American Dream in Verse.” poetryfoundation.org. 30 October 17. Web.
Miller, Arthur. Death of a Salesman. Penguin, 1998.
Steinbeck, John. Of Mice and Men. Penguin, 1993.

Case Files: And Then There Were None

Case Files: Indian Island Deaths
Detective: Paige Trutna
Date of Case: 9/19/17

Suspect: Philip Lombard

Description:
Tall (6’0″), 189 pounds, well-built, fairly attractive, caramel-brown hair, “soldier for hire”, hasn’t had a job for a while, quite low on funds, sighted with a revolver before leaving for Soldier Island

Evidence:
Was quoted to say “but self preservation is a man’s first duty”(pg. 67)- He doesn’t hold human life particularly sacred, it doesn’t seem like he would be effected too much by murdering someone. He even left some of his comrades to die so that he could survive.
He said “I think I’ll get out of this one” (pg. 192). He is known to have been in some tight places, which is why, he claims, he brought his revolver to the island. Perhaps he was expecting a sport of trouble on Soldier Island…
Says that “If I were to commit one or more murders, it would be solely for what I could get out of them” (pg. 169). We didn’t hear of anything specifically, but what’s to stop us from assuming he wasn’t getting something out of these murders. Perhaps money, pride, or even just pure satisfaction.
Refused to give us his revolver, saying “I’ll be damned if I’ll give up my revolver” (pg. 205). If he truly weren’t the murderer, he should be willing to give up the revolver and lock it up, just like some of the other weapons.
“There wasn’t much he drew the line at really…” (pg. 7). Lombard is a man who is known to enjoy adventure, and he doesn’t limit himself much. It’s a possibility that he would enjoy setting up an unsolvable murder mystery…

Motives:
Philip Lombard is known for his disrespect of human life. He considers others, especially others that aren’t as physically fit as he is, useless. If he has enemies that get in his way, there is no doubt that he could take them out. He could also potentially be swayed by an amount of money, which makes us think that if he had a reason to kill these people, there is a high possibility that he would do it.

Case Files: Indian Island Deaths
Innocent or Guilty: TBD. Could go either way.
Detective: Paige Trutna
Date of Case: 9/19/17

Suspect: Vera Claythorne

Description:
Black Hair, 5’7″, 128 pounds, attractive, was a teacher, was a governess, now is a secretary, her last charge as a governess died, and she almost died trying to save him.

Evidence:
Was quoted to say “death was for…the other people” (pg. 89). Perhaps she knew that she wasn’t going to die, maybe even because she was the murderer.
“You must keep cool. This isn’t like you. You’ve always have excellent nerves” (pg. 107). Maybe she was nervous because she was killing people, and she thought they were going to find out…
Made the assumption that the people on the island were animals, saying “we’re hardly human anymore” (pg. 248). If she is assuming that, then maybe she is saying that she is turning into something because of the murders.
The quote “I’d stake my reputation on your sanity” was said about her on page 168. If someone was willing to go that far, than perhaps she isn’t the murderer.

Motives:
Vera Claythorne is known for having a charge die in her care while she was a governess. She also had a husband who couldn’t be with her. Both of these things could be possible motivation for murder. Throughout the manuscript, we see her sanity slowly slip away from her, which could be cause for murder. However, her sanity slips because she is so afraid she is going to be killed. A killer wouldn’t be so afraid of being murdered.